January 14, 2010

Giving Thanks

Thank you all so much for the birthday wishes, congratulations on our good news and best wishes for G. The surgery was over a week ago now and he's doing okay. By all accounts the actual surgery, hip resurfacing, was a success, but there have been a few complications following it that have made recovery pretty hard. I hesitate to say we've turned a corner, but yesterday was way better than the day before. The rest of the family is still sleeping (THANK GOD!) so the jury is still out on today, but I have a better feeling about things.

It's been a really hard last month.

I'm exhausted.

I figure this is good practice for when the baby comes. Who needs sleep, right?

I should really go back to bed, but I wanted to pop in and give thanks to all of you. And say this: hug your loved ones today. Tell them you love them and appreciate them. Say thank you.

L, C

Posted by Cara at 06:04 AM | Comments (21)
Topics: Life

January 01, 2010

Decades

I've been writing this post in my head for days and I really hoped to have posted it yesterday, but first the plumber came over to fix the boiler then the baby didn't nap until late, and when I finally thought I had a chance, the gas company came over to check the horrific smell that's been emanating from our oven every time we use it. Ah the joys of home ownership/motherhood/life. HAHAHAHA! Like I'd want it any other way.

One of the things I've been thinking about is, of course, the passing of the decade. Having been born in a 0 year (1970 for those wondering) when the world's decade changes, so does mine. It's been particularly interesting for me this year because it seems that everyone keeps talking about how awful the last ten years have been and what a relief it is that the oughts (ought what? aught? whatever!) are over.

I turned 30 in 2000 and I was so super excited about it. For me it meant I wasn't a kid anymore and I fully embraced my adulthood. My 20s weren't the best and I couldn't wait to leave them behind. I was much more settled and self-assured and I was finally an adult that could do all kinds of adult things with (at the time) a limited amount of responsibilities. FUN TIMES!

The past ten years, for me, have been the most fulfilling, most joyous, most content years of my life. So far. In the past ten years I became an aunt (almost) six times over. I became a wife. I became a mother.

I learned to knit.

I had my greatest professional accomplishments in that I had original fiction published four times. I started my own business. We bought a house. (The apartment we bought in the 90s.) The list goes on and on and mostly it's good.

I also survived some pretty devastating stuff - infertility the highest among them.

But I'd like to think I came out stronger and more self-aware and self-assured than I would have had I not lived through these things.

I guess it's true that the past ten years haven't been the best in terms of the United States or the world in general but for me they've been very full and fulfilling. I'm a little sorry to let my 30s go.

No fear though - 40 will prove to be just as exciting! Why just next week my husband will finally have the hip surgery, postponed three years ago, that should change his life for the better. Fingers crossed that his debilitating pain ends quickly and that he recovers and rebounds fast and furiously! He better because come Spring, we'll have another little one to contend with! YES! We're having a BABY! Our due date is mid-June (the actual due date varies depending upon which doctor you speak to) and so far everything is great. And by great I mean that I feel like crap all the time (just like the first.) I'm just about 16 weeks now and for the first 13.5 I was sicker than with Meli, but I actually think I'm a bit better now than I was with her at the same time. So maybe it won't be as bad the whole way through. Trust me when I say you're glad I wasn't around when I was really sick though because I was REALLY sick and not an ounce of fun.

For the curious few, we did a frozen embryo transfer again and everything worked perfectly, just as it did the first time. We are extremely lucky and know it. We tell ourselves all the time.

So here I am, forty and knocked up. Want to see a picture? (No belly - just me and my girl!)

Anyway - there we are. The picture was taken last Monday and I still can't believe how long our hair is! Someone needs a comb!

Let's start the year off right, shall we? Just yesterday I finished a pair of birthday socks for myself:

I have been waiting to use this sock yarn, STR Lightweight in Crazy Lace Agate, for years. Some how I never got around to a jaywalker with it, and then I tried a number of patterns but never really found anything I loved. To stripey for a Monkey. But I never really wanted a plain stockinette sock. Enter the Sunday Swing Sock from Knitty. Completely perfect for stripey sock yarn - it knocks the stripes a little off balance and has just enough change up in the pattern to make it NOT a plain old stockinette sock. I used a reverse chart I found on ravelry for the second sock for a mirrored pattern. Damn fine if I don't say so myself!

Knitting was scarce for a while when I was feeling so sickly, but I feel it coming back with a vengeance. One of my goals for today is wind up yarn for a baby gift for an upcoming niece or nephew - birthday surprise - so I have some good and easy hospital knitting. And there are countless socks that need mates, so there's always that. And for a birthday present today, I bought this. Now to find the right yarn....

I'm not sure how much I'll be writing in the coming months. It's really so hard these days. Meli is almost two(!!!) and is constantly telling me to put whatever it is I'm doing down and PAY ATTENTION TO HER. Sleep is scarce around here as well and I'm tired. The computer isn't where I'm at most days. If it wasn't for my smartphone (I'm a DROID girl) I would never know anything about anything. Unless it happens on Sprout. So pathetic.

If I'm not here please know that I'm thinking about you. This blog has been a major part of my life for just about half the previous decade. Scary to think, but it's true. I have treasured it - AND YOU - for there is no it without you and am so glad it all came into my life. Whatever happens to this blog - whatever iteration it takes on - it will always be a hallmark of my 30s and I will never forget the friends it brought to my life. Thank you so much for reading.

I wish you all a wonderful new year and a fantastic decade to come.
L, C

Posted by Cara at 12:46 PM | Comments (93)
Topics: Life

November 05, 2009

Alive and (Sort of) Well

Sorry for the radio silence, yet again. This life thing is really annoying.

Turns out, Dr. Internet was right about the opthalmic migraines. The retina specialist told me my eyes were completely fine and it was a migraine. I've had it a couple more times now, but it obviously hasn't freaked me out nearly as much. Just really annoying. That first one was REALLY scary though!

Rhinebeck was lots of fun. I didn't bring a camera and even the camera on my phone was broken, so I can't show you proof that I was there, but I was. I didn't really buy much and we didn't make it to the fair on Sunday, opting instead for some family time in the pool at the hotel before the rains came. We had a good time though for sure and I was so glad to see some familiar faces. It seems like a lifetime ago that Rhinebeck was the center of the universe - blasphemy I know - but it doesn't feel like that anymore.

I haven't been feeling very well lately and I'm hoping it passes soon, and Meli seems to have caught something as well. I do have some super cute pictures of her but I don't have them on this computer so I'll have to post them later. Hopefully tomorrow.

The biggest of big news is that WE SOLD OUR APARTMENT! Closed and everything. Done. Finito. And not a moment too soon. I can't tell you what a relief this is and what a difficult sale it was. Our lawyer advised at least three times to back out because the buyers were so diffiicult, but when you're desperate, what are you going to do? It's DONE.

Anyway - life in the suburbs is boring (well - not for me - but to talk about.) I'm not even knitting these days. Seems I don't like to knit when I feel sick. Go figure - just when you need some comfort in your life the comfort makes you feel worse.

I just wanted to check in and say I'm alive. One of these days I'm going to get back in the swing of this here blog. Or at least I can dream. Hope you're all well!

Posted by Cara at 02:34 PM | Comments (25)
Topics: Life

October 16, 2009

To Rhinebeck

It's been decided! We'll be there!!! I'm not going to let a little rain or cold keep me away. Even though so many of the friends I look forward to seeing won't be there, I need the little break. And, believe it or not, I knit a hat for Meli just for the occasion. Not gonna let that opportunity slip by. It may not be a sweater, but hell, it's something knitted!

But first, I'll be visiting a Retina Specialist because of a little incident I had yesterday. I was working a lot on the computer, something I haven't done in a while, and suddenly I had this little spot in my vision that I couldn't see past. It was like I had stared into a lightbulb or something, but it started getting bigger and then it was all jagged and flashing - think holiday lights on speed - and then bigger and bigger and I swear I was having a stroke. Luckily my mom was helping out with Meli yesterday because I was FREAKED!

And then it was gone.

I think most likely I had an opthalmic migraine. The description on the page I linked to fits the incident exactly. But just to be on the safe side, I'm having it checked out.

Never a dull moment. Hope to see you at the 'Beck (as G's taken to referring to it!)

Posted by Cara at 09:30 AM | Comments (32)
Topics:

October 15, 2009

To Rhinebeck, or Not Rhinebeck

That is the question. G says it's up to me, of course, but he asks do I really want to go if it's going to be cold AND wet? Cold is one thing - but wet too?

I actually really want to go. I'm not sure why - there's nothing really I want to buy. Of course, there are many people I want to see so that IS the real reason, but there are lots of people that won't be there too and is it worth it to drag my husband and baby through those wet barns?

Sure, I could leave them at the hotel and traipse around by myself, but do I want to do that either? I've been prepping Meli for SHEEEEEEEEP all week.

What's the answer here? HELP!

Posted by Cara at 02:28 PM | Comments (24)
Topics:

October 02, 2009

Darkness on the Edge of Town

You're all very sweet to worry that something must be very wrong for us to miss a Bruce concert, but the gluttonous truth is that we're seeing him tonight. And next Friday night. And in November. See? It's all good.

I hate that I haven't been here much lately. Things are going well behind the scenes - well - sort of well. The previous owner of our house neglected to tell us that the shower (the only shower in the house) leaked when it needed to be regrouted and we were surprised by a leaky hole in our newly painted kitchen ceiling yesterday morning. SURPRISE! And he also neglected to mention that there might be a problem with the heater, which shut off soon after we turned it on the day before yesterday and then proceeded to leak onto the basement floor. SURPRISE AGAIN! The plumber and I are now good friends.

(Yes we had the house inspected. And yes we are looking into our legal rights on these issues.)

Home ownership is fun! I did buy some beautiful mums and some pumpkins (a big one for Daddy, a medium one for Mommy and a baby one for Meli!) for our front step which made me exceedingly happy. Of course that was before the house started to leak everywhere.

Oh and our apartment is off the market. I shouldn't even be saying this but we're out of the LONGEST ATTORNEY REVIEW ON RECORD and await the joys of inspection. If this deal closes it will be a miracle. The only good thing about it is we won't own it anymore. Enough said.

Meli is fantastic. I wish I had pictures to show you - I took some on Labor Day (really truly that's the last time I took pictures of her. How pathetic is that?) But I haven't had the opportunity to process them yet. My office is on the third floor and I've started working again (not that I've been getting any work done) but I can't really be up here with Meli so I never really get up here. Eventually the plan is to have a computer station in the basement where the playroom is and then hopefully I can be on the computer while she plays. I actually go DAYS without being online. It's good I guess, if I felt like I was being productive in other ways, but really I feel completely out of touch.

Back to Meli. She runs, she jumps (well - she tries really hard), she sings, she talks NONSTOP. For the most part she's just a love to be with all day long and I wouldn't trade her for the world but she doesn't like to fall asleep. Once she IS asleep she sleeps great - in her own bed (twin mattress on the floor with this GREAT PRODUCT to protect her from falling the 2" to the ground) in her own room - but getting her to sleep is a total bitch. I've tried a lot of stuff, but I think she just takes a long time to get to sleep. I'm usually out cold before her and then I wake up and stick her in her own bed. We've tried naps, no naps, routines, blah blah blah. She just has trouble going to sleep. But this means I have no time at night to myself, which really sucks. And no real time in the morning to myself which really sucks. Just kind of like no time to myself. My dad's been coming up once a week to play with Meli and that gives me a great break, but I need to find a mother's helper or something. Eventually I'll get to it. Like everything else.

Anyway, so that's what's been going on with me. I've been knitting, like I said, on socks. A new pattern is, believe it or not, in the rotation. I promise promise promise I will take pictures soon! Oh and my boobs stopped leaking - YAY! That was completely annoying and distressing for a bit. I'm loving the fall weather even if I am a bit freezing this morning with no heat. And I'm looking forward to Rhinebeck in a couple of weeks. We'll be the family with the little girl who's head keeps spinning around because of all the sheep. (Although if there were monkeys her head would absolutely explode!) BAAAAAAAAAAA!

Posted by Cara at 09:24 AM | Comments (16)
Topics: Bruce ~ Life

October 01, 2009

Dancing in the Dark

Is anybody alive out there?!?!

We have two tickets for Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band that we unfortunately can't use. The details are as follows:

Saturday, October 3, 2009
Giants Stadium
Section 226 (Mezzanine Level)
Row 7; Seats 13-14
7:30 PM
$98 each (Face Value)

Bruce and the Band will be playing Born in the USA in its entirety during the show. Please leave a comment if you are interested in purchasing the tickets. THANK YOU!

PS - Sorry for my silence. My computer time has been basically nil. I hope to get on more frequently in the days to come. I have lots of knitting to show you - and - wait for it - a new to me sock pattern! Hope you're all well! L, C

Posted by Cara at 01:20 AM | Comments (9)
Topics: Bruce